I think some people in progressive spaces fail to recognise the role agency plays in deprogramming. Specifically when it comes to deprogramming someone out of something like the gender binary or heterosexuality as the only acceptable form of intimacy.
One of the problems with the social contract is that it punishes you for deviating from it even if your deviation is out of your control.
Sometimes it punishes you for things that dont make sense like being attracted to the same gender.
In the case where homosexuality is not punished explicitly but socially, the social contract often looms over all the current connections you have. Part of "freeing" yourself is making new connections that do not punish you.
But here is the tricky part:
If someone is a homosexual in an environment where being a homosexual would be socially punished is it correct to reveal their nature?
This is a phenomenon called forcing someone out of the closet and it is frowned upon in queer spaces.
You have made a choice for someone. Is that much different from the social contract demanding heterosexuality?
This is the simple idea I want to leave you with today:
You should let someone know it is okay to be different but you need to leave the choice to embrace or deny that difference to them.
If a closet homosexual chooses to be miserable that is their choice.
In deprogramming, is your job to offer the pills, not to force neo to take the right one.